a brighter discontent

Rainy Sunday

Supposedly typepad mobile has fixed things so paragraph formatting actually works. How novel! Also, I think my posts from last week finally uploaded!!

We'll see if this works......

Appointment yesterday was a complete fail. As we expected, the follicles didn't appear to be growing, so there didn't seem much point in continuing.

So, we'll have to begin the research and arrangements for doing an IVF cycle early next year in the US again. Any clinic recs??? We'll likely not be using the same clinic again.

I didn't post about this yet, but I had a hysterosonogram after my second HSG early this year. Of course, there's still much talk about that stupid "mild heart shape" of my uterus.

Was it any impact on my miscarriage with the twins? No one knows. In my opinion? Probably not. After all, we could see on ultrasound where the babies were situated, and they were not near the "heart-shaped" area.

It took us about 30 minutes to get an actual opinion from the other doctor we see at the clinic here, but he finally admitted that he thinks I should have surgery on it prior to our next IVF.

Sigh. I really don't want to....I've really had my fill of major surgery for the next three lifetimes.

I haven't quite made up my mind yet.

Other than that, there probably won't be much happening with IF stuff in the coming weeks. We definitely need to figure out what clinic we will go to next.

I have been very busy with markets over the summer, among other things. I have another huge art market to prepare for on October 30 & 31.

Unfortunately I've been so busy with markets and some wholesale orders that my website is sadly neglected. I need to remedy that soon as I think it will start to hurt my business overall.

Hope everyone else is better than we are. I'm not sure how visible I'll be in blog form going forward. I would love to follow some blogs, but honestly, if the blog is all about babies/kids/breastfeeding/etc., I'm probably not going to be able to read it, let alone comment.

So, if anyone has any blog suggestions not baby-filled, please let me know!

We're out for supper and may head to starbucks now, I think. I deserve it after this hellish week.

Something witty about blood. True blood?

I never seem to remember to take a photo BEFORE market opens, so all I have, once again, are disorganized & cluttered photos partway through!

(and quick iPhone snaps at that! This post would also be a lot more cohesive if I weren't blogging from my iPhone, too! Wish I could get to to keep my paragraph spacing formatted!!)

I had some new pieces for my fall line that I thought I'd have time to photogragh at the market today, but nope! They sold before I got a pic. Which, is really a good thing, I want to make some for myself, anyway! ;)

Market was overall a success, and it didn't rain at all, which was positively shocking! The clouds threatened, but begrudgingly allowed a subdued sunshine throughout the day.

SO exhausted though. I was up most of the night working, and doing a market is always, but it's 1000x worse on iui injections. :\ I had to leave the market briefly to go to the truck so I could inject myself there. Not the strangest place I'm sure, anyone has ever had to do that!

I booked the market before knowing when the iui cycle would be.....the clinic here is terrifically vague with those kinda of details, and not prompt about scheduling in the first place, as has been previously demonstrated.

I'm not sure if it's a coincidence, but I've been sick or under the weather ever since starting the lupron!

Probably we should have gone straight to bed as we're both exhausted, but we had to have supper and watch our PVR'd True Blood season finale. ZOMGWTF is all I have to say!

Fitting to watch True Blood before bloodletting at the clinic in the morning! Fun times. My right arm isn't healed enough from Thursday's mangling yet, so it will have to be the left this time.....it's immensely disconcerted with bloodletting. 50% the nurse screws up or can't get the blood on first try...

I feel like I'm having a bit of a Princess Bride moment.....I'm expecting to get cancelled at any moment. I can't even worry about I though, as I'm nearly too tired to care! ;p

I'll post tomorrow when I find if we're cancelled or proceeding.......

Needing every scrap of good kick on the planet (and a good nights rest),

N

More blood. Less mangle.

Had a different nurse today at clinic, thank god. I had to use my left arm as my right is still too sore from the last mangling. This nurse came with a butterfly needle. I have to wonder if the last one put a warning on my (very thick) chart.

My chart, btw, is the size of a textbook, and the cover is falling apart. It makes me wonder why they don't just put it in a new file??? Weird clinic is weird.

Am completely exhausted after the market yesterday, and no sleep the night before...I might be too tired for breakfast, but we're heading to a diner now.

It's raining and the traffic is still insane at 8:44 am. So, there's really no point in trying to get home yet.

I wonder if the clinic cancels people after four days of stims?

Typepad mobile sucks...

Seriously wish posting on Typepad was as easy as posting on Tumblr. :/

I have two posts on my mobile Typepad that WON'T upload. So freaking annoying. Posting on both Tumblr and mobile Tumblr takes two seconds. When I logged on to Typepad tonight, I couldn't even figure out where to go to compose a post at first.

I'm not impressed with how this cycle is going. I was told to increase my dose to 300. I can't believe those stupid pens only contain 450 IU!! Such a rip-off. Our insurance covers about $1000 of it, leaving us with $400. $400 is still expensive for such a tiny amount (3 pens). And I seriously think 99% of the cost is the bloody pen itself -- why the hell it can't just come in a vial like Lupron for $1000 less, I'll never know.

It would be one thing if it *worked*, but we all know what I think about the chances of that. 

Bloodwork and ultrasound this Thursday morning. I guess if there are no follicles then, that will be the end of the road for us.

I hate Canada Post and GonalF pens.

I need to vent:

I have a festival market on Sunday, and I needed to replenish some supplies, so I purposely shopped from a Canadian seller and had them ship the items via Xpress Post so they would arrive by Friday.

WHY DO I BOTHER?!?!

The package was guaranteed for delivery TODAY, and yet, according to the tracking information online, there it sits: unmoving and unchanged status since Wednesday, stuck THREE PROVINCES AWAY from its ACTUAL destination!

I'm SO. FREAKING. ANNOYED.

Do you know how many times I've had to file a claim with Canada Post for shipping refunds because they've failed to meet their guaranteed delivery time?!?!

About FOUR TIMES within this last year alone, which I think is RIDICULOUS.

What is the point of going to the trouble and expense of "Xpress Post" shipping when they can't meet their own deadlines?!?!

Sure, you can file for a refund, but that's besides the point, since the package isn't where it's supposed to be.

And now I'm short on the supplies I was expecting for this Sunday's market.

:\

Also, WTF is with the GonalF pens?!?! Stupid, STUPID invention! "Easy and convenient"????

You know what's easy and convenient? Taking a needle, putting it in a vial, drawing out the amount, and stabbing yourself. NOT GonalF pens. NOT.

Nothing to see here...right?

Does this blog still even work?!? I don't even know when the last time was I logged on here, in any case, I'm sure no one's missed me! I'm almost loathe to talk about it, but we are doing an IUI cycle right now. This has been something we've been TRYING to do for what, over three years now??!? It wasn't until we had a different doctor do our last FET last summer that things F I N A L L Y started happening with the IUI plans, albeit slowly. The dr we've been dealing with the last year has been a lot more open than our regular dr. He has been open to my being on DHEA, which I've been on again since February? March? And told me to stay on it during the IUI as it "might help". (his words) Probably the best news I had this year was my FSH being low. Even before DHEA this time it was only 7. Which is seriously the lowest I've ever seen it. Now I feel like I'm running a gauntlet, trying to make it through each step and an entire cycle. I had a baseline u/s and b/w this morning, and now am cleared to start GonalF tomorrow. Then more b/w Monday, and I guess if I clear that hurdle, more GonalF. We'll see. I'm really NOT a negative person, but I truly don't have much hope for any of this. I'm just being realistic. Frankly, I'd consider it freaking amazing if I made it through an entire IUI cycle, forget about actually getting pg from it. I hope we get most of our money back if the damn thing gets canceled!!! It was a nightmare getting to the clinic this morning. I was stuck in traffic for two hours (FOR NO REASON) & the lab tech brutalized my arm. Very bad start to the day. If anyone reads this, please send good b/w? thoughts for Monday... I'm not even sure what they'll be testing for on Monday...perhaps E2 is supposed to begin rising after 3 days? I've no idea since we've never ever done an IUI!