***UPDATE***
This reporter has a lot of nerve. I just received this email in my inbox (I was unaware that my cousin had GIVEN my email address to this reporter!!!) Here it is:
Hi N--,
I'd like to speak to you about a story we're working on. Would you mind if I gave you a call tomorrow (wednesday)?
My direct line is 7--.9--.8---
Please let me know,
Thanks,
Her Name
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I'm really not sure how I feel about all this. Just what, exactly, is this story about "fertility clinics" about???
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Original post follows below:
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No sooner did I merely HINT at my relatives, and all of a sudden, one crops up.
And, if it isn't the infamous cousin that's been the cause of major torment in the past! Let's call her....Dayna, shall we?
Just to jog your collective memories about cousin Dayna....she is the cousin who announced her first pregnancy just as I was pregnant with the twins back in October 2005. She knew exactly what we had been through to get to that point, and when we went on to lose the twins, she proceeded to send me updates and emails of her continuing pregnancy, along with ultrasounds photos, and her mom would call my mom to tell her about things Dayna had said like "hearing the heartbeat" on doppler and all the things I never got to do because my babies were dead. It was really, REALLY hard to hear since her due date was just a week or two different from mine, and it haunts me to this day that her kid is exactly the same age as what our twins SHOULD be.
As the months went by and her due date approached, I tried to distance myself as much as possible, trying to ignore her emails, and thankfully, she's always lived in another city 2 hours away, so I didn't have to see her in person. Until one day, near the end of her pregnancy, she wrote me an another email, this time to me personally. Saying that she missed hearing from me these past few months, and then went on to complain about how "hugely pregnant" she was, that she was about to go on maternity leave, about how she was feeling, and on and on and on. Not one word about how my pregnancy or miscarriage, or how I was really doing. Nothing. It was all about her.
I finally replied back to her, essentially telling her that June was a really difficult month for me, considering it was the twins' due date, and I was having a really hard time talking about pregnancy and baby stuff with anyone.
She replied back with REALLY trite and cliched "advice". Something about "being like Oprah", of all the godforsaken examples to use. She had watched some stupid Oprah show where Oprah spoke about "finding one thing everyday she was grateful for" when she was feeling sad about something. All I remember thinking is, "Really?! OPRAH?!? For God's sake, that woman has 50 trillion dollars, what does she have to be SAD about, for crying out loud?!?" Oprah. *snorts* She's the last woman on earth I'd EVER take advice from. After all, money fixes most problems. The only reason we haven't done more treatment cycles is that we simply can't afford it. If I had enough money laying around to finance IVF, I'd have a kid by now, I'm sure of it.
Anyway, I think she went on to suggest that I do some volunteer work or something stupid like that, and she didn't acknowledge my pain or difficulty in dealing with the anniversary of the twins' due date, etc.
So, in the efforts of not stirring up any family drama, I kept my mouth shut and refrained from emailing her back. Probably, that was a mistake. I should know by now that it's better to just say what's really on your mind (in the least harsh way as possible), but oh well...
Who should email me this week then, just after I posted about cousins? If you guessed Dayna, you'd be right!
Here's what she had to say:
Hi N--. I hope you are doing well.
My friend David is friends with a tv producer at ctv. She is doing a story on couples using fertility clinics. She was wondering if she can interview you. Her contact information is below.
--Dayna
Her Name
Ph: 7-- 7-- 9---
Her.Name@ctv.ca
The name of the show is – Alberta Prime Time
Hmm. Definitely not the most annoying email I've ever received from a relative, but I'm not sure how I feel about being potentially interviewed for a television show. I am certainly not the "typical" example of a person seeking fertility treatment, for one thing. I'm only in this boat due to Acc.utane and the ovarian cancer it caused. Also, I suppose I'd have to contact this reporter to see what kind of angle they are going for with this story. I'm not interested in being a part of any sensationalized version of IVF or whatever. So, I don't know...I'm just undecided about the whole thing. I'm thinking this is not the greatest timing either, as we're about to do a FET cycle for the first time since January 2007. I've already got enough stuff going on with my jewelry business plus two trips out of town planned in the next month prior to the FET.
Did I ever tell you guys that this cousin, Dayna, went on to have a second kid before her first kid was even a year old? Yeah...She was BARELY back from maternity leave when she got knocked up for the second time. They were apparently "SO surprised" because it had taken them "SO long" to get pregnant the first time (i.e.: it took them almost one whole year of Just! Having! Sex! to get pregnant with their first).
Well, I think I'll leave the second tidbit about my other cousin for another day. I've had enough relatives for one day.
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